Monday, September 18, 2017
Tonight while daddy was at soccer practice with Greyson, I was home with the littles and we had done homework, gone for a swim, had dinner and were just picking up a few things around the house. London had gotten out some pictures of some of our trips to Haiti out and they were on a table in my bedroom. Sam was looking through them and found a picture of him and London with their Haiti mommy. He brought the picture to me and said "Was I in her tummy?' I told him yes and he said "Was London in her tummy too?" I told him yes to that as well and he just sat and looked at the picture. I watched him study the picture for a few minutes and then he got up and ran off to play. That moment struck me tonight. I have the honor of raising that woman's son and daughter. She has never met me and I have never met her. We speak two different languages. We have very different lives but yet we share a love for two children. She carried them for 9 months and raised them for just a few years and I get to see them grow up. I get to watch London do her cheerleading and Sam as he takes apart every remote control we have just to put it right back together. Tonight as I stared at her picture I thought about her. Does she think about them every single day? Does she wonder about the people they are becoming? Does she think about me and what kind of mother I am to them? I can't even begin to understand what it was like for her to make the ultimate sacrifice for them. She loved them so much that she wanted a better life for them. I'm so thankful that God has woven our hearts together over these two kids.
They have her eyes and my last name. There is both joy and sadness in that. So tonight, I think about and pray for "B", my children's first mother. I pray that God touches her heart and protects her. I pray that she knows that I love them enough for both of us.
Saturday, February 18, 2017
Today marks one year that my sweet papa left this world and entered his eternal home in Heaven. He saw a lot in his 91 years. He loved with every fiber of his being. He was always the first to help someone, was a die hard FDR Democrat ,a patriot, a friend and quite possibly the most wonderful human being you could ever know.
One of the coolest things about having your grandparents into your own adulthood is that you really get to know who they are and appreciate the relationship. Papa used to come and stay with us and our days centered around what and where we were going to eat. He enjoyed a good card game of Rummy, a fishing trip and always cake and cookies. He lived 20 years without his soulmate, my nanny but I bet the year he's been able to be reunited with her has only seemed like a moment. Sometimes I try to envision what Heaven must be like for him. The perfect love, peace and healing that he feels. Although I still miss him as much today I'm so happy that he made the decision when I was a baby to follow Christ which ensures that I will be with him again.
I will strive everyday to make sure to be someone that he would be proud of. I'd give anything for one more hug or phone call. I pray I made him proud while he was here. I pray I can love like he loved.
I love you papa. I hope the crappie are biting.