Three years....

October 16 was three years. Sometimes it seems like yesterday and other times i wonder if it really happened. Like it was some horrible dream. But my heart reminds me every october 16 that it was not a dream. And I'm reminded every single time I see a set of twins that my baby girls didn't make it.

I think I remember their birth more vividly than the other five births. I remember the shock of finding out we were having twins. I remember the sheer bliss of discovering they were identical twin girls. I envisioned matching outfits and hair bows and Kelly worried about not knowing who was who!

When the girls were 17 weeks we went to our dr and heard the dreaded words " guys there's a problem". Baby"A", my sweet Ava Joy had passed away. It's a feeling of literally having your heart ripped out. The next few weeks were filled with lots of anxiety, trying to make it to 24 weeks so that baby b would be viable.

I knew that it was happening. I was at work and my side hurt. It felt like I had ran a marathon. I had a dr appointment for that day and I just prayed that my fears weren't confirmed. Unfortunately they were. I didn't cry there. I just laid their numb. Emma Elizabeth had decided to join her sister.

So on October 16 I always remember that I held both of my baby girls. Sweet and tiny and fulfilling their mission way before I was ready for them too.

See you soon precious ones.

Back on the saddle

Let me entice you with some cuteness so that you will forgive me for my lack of blogging!! This is my beautiful Mayah Grace!! She was born September 6 at 2:48 PM. She weighed 6lbs 11 oz and was 19.75 inches long. She is AMAZING!! We are absolutely INLOVE with this precious gift that God has given us!! Carrson has adjusted well. It was a rough start and we still have our days but he really does love her. He wants to hold her or kiss her all the time. Kelcie is enjoying having a baby sister and Greyson and Conner are equally as smitten with her! I have a feeling that Miss Mayah will be the ruler of the Roost!!

I have to say being able to stay home with Carrson and Mayah this year has been so amazing. I'm so thankful for this opportunity. I can't wait to bring home baby #6 and feel "complete".  We have some more fundraising to do that I am going to start working on this week. Kelly just finished up doing an interim pastoral at our church so he will have a little more time at home. We are so thankful to have our new pastor come and know that the church is going to explode!!
Well my princess is calling and I hope to blog more later with more amazing pics!!!
xoxo
Tracie

Baby news!!!!

So I have to say of all the pregnancies I've had (6 to be exact) this one has been the hardest!! Maybe it's because I'm 34 or that I'm chasing a toddler and running three big kids all over the place. Or it could be that it's only been a bazillion degrees every single day this summer. But it has definitely not the wonderful makes my face glow pregnancy! But I will tell you today there is an end in sight!! On September 6,( my grandma elaine's bday) Mayah Grace Ward will be making her debut! I'm so excited I can't stand it!! I will post pics ASAP!!

Soccer season is in the air! We met conners new coach tonight and we really like them. Mel is team has merged with another and we meet them Monday. Grey had practice tonight and they are all ready to go! I love that they have something that they like and are good at. The kids also have completed their first week of school. They all love it and im so glad. I'm enjoying being at home with Carrson. He likes to play and I am his playmate while the kids are at school!

So all is well at the Circus and I hope it is at yours as well!!
Xoxo

Auction starts tomorrow!!!

I'm so excited about our auction that starts tomorrow on the Hope Happens Adoption page on Facebook!! Jenny from jaleigh bean boutique has outdone herself! I owe her big for all of the help she has given me. There are some really cute items and I'm so thankful to all of the vendors and people that have stepped up for this. I have asked God for $10,000 this week to cover most of the remaining expenses of this adoption. I know it's a big request but I know my God is bigger and He has a plan for this baby! There have been many many times that we have thought about just walking away due to the extreme expense of all of this but He comes through every time! I believe this is our baby and that she is supposed to be in our family. I spoke with our birth mom, "J" again on Thursday. Each time she reveals a little more about herself and the extreme pain that she has had in her life. She spoke of the one child that she did parent. She shared custody of him and one day they came to get him for their visit and he was never returned to her. She hasn't seen him in over 4 years. She has dealt with the loss of her parents, rape, being homeless...all of these things I can't even fathom. That is why I can't walk away and I will do whatever I have to do to get the rest of the money to bring this baby home in December. I am so thankful to everyone that has given, shared our blog and prayed for us on this journey. Some of you I have never met yet our hearts are joined together by one cause and that is the plight of the orphan. God truly does set the lonely in families!

One last thing and that is a big congratulations to my dear friend Ashley and Jeremiah at www.smithfamilylowdown.blogspot.com on the recent referral of their little girl that waits for them in Ethiopia! Check out their journey of love fundraiser to help with the airline tickets to Ethiopia. They have waited a long time for her!!

Thanks agin!
Xoxo

WOWZERS its HOT!!!

I saw someone post today that they saw two trees fighting over a dog!! It is seriously THAT HOT!! I believe I heard 118 in Owasso today. HOLY COW!! This year we have gone from 27 inches of snow to this!! I am so thankful for my house that is 73 degrees!! I did feel about 7 raindrops today. It got my hopes for a little bit but then it was over!!

I went to the Dr yesterday to check on Miss Mayah Grace and she is doing wonderful!! We plan on seeing her sweet little face in about 5 weeks! I can't wait! Our little unexpected surprise. I am really anxious to see how Carrson reacts to her. I think that his umbilicle cord grew back this summer because he and I are inseparatable! There are moments when I think "I just need a break" but then when I'm rocking him and he's all relaxed in my arms I realize I am the most blessed woman on earth!

We have been overwhelmed with support for this adoption. People are amazing. A special shout out to Jenny at Jaleigh Bean bowtique!! Check her out on facebook, her stuff is AMAZING!! She and I have never met but are becoming fast friends!! She has basically taken charge of the auction that we are putting together on the Hope Happens Adoption Page! (Make sure and LIKE it if you haven't already) We are planning on starting the auction on the 14th and there are some neat neat things over there!! Tell everyone you know!! We are also still taking partners in Partnership 190!! Anything we make over our goal, we plan on "paying it forward" to a very special family that is adopting as well.  I also have really big plans for Hope Happens! I can't wait until God reveals it all to me and I can let you in on it!!

Well I hope everyone has a great night!! We have a crazy busy weekend ahead but this is the life!!! I wouldn't have it any other way!!

XOXO!!

What a great day!!!

There is a saying here in "Green Country" (which is brown right now BTW!) that once you have been to Happy Hill you will never be the same. Happy Hill is my church. And especially after today I can honestly say I will never be the same. What an incredible group of giving people! Today I was able to witness a miracle. Like a loaves and fishes miracle. I was able to actually see with my eyes the true spirit of adoption! For this I will forever be grateful to Happy Hill!

We have two days left on our Partnership 190! This too has been amazing to see people I don't even know give into our baby's life. Basically this campaign asks for 190 people to give $100 via paypal or by check to our address (see older post); or you can give $20 and ask 4 friends to give $20 which would total $100. Many of you have churches that would want to give. If 30 churches gave $250 that would total $7500! This money helps us provide food, clothing and a place to live for one month after the baby is born. She had been living in a tent before.

Some amazing people in our community have stepped up to help us with an online auction. It will be held on our hope happens adoption page on Facebook. We have some really great items and still collecting more! Please go and like the page and stay tuned for more info!

We still have some tshirts available. The sizes we have left are listed in the Hope Happens Adoption page under the picture!

Thank you all so much for your support and prayers! We are so thankful for God using you to help give this baby a chance of a future!!

T-shirt palooza!!!

The tshirt sales have been great! I've had to re order two times already which is awesome! People from as far away as Iowa have bought them and that is so exciting! I pray that the simple little message causes an avalanche of people wanting to adopt!

Right now I have a hodge Podge of sizes left that I would like to get rid of before ordering again! So if any of the sizes you would like please order quickly and state what size and color in the paypal checkout comments box. You guys are amazing!
Sizes in gray: medium (1 left), large (1left), xlarge (7), 2xl (2), 3am (3)
Sizes in pink: Youth large (2), small (2), large (2) xlarge (2), 2xlarge (2)

Also if you are on Facebook please LIKE the hope happens adoption page! We have a great auction coming up in about a week with some great items!

We still have a few days left in our Partnership 190 campaign and still need 145 partners to give $100, or give $20 and ask 4 friends to give $20. If your church is interested in giving that would be awesome too! I can't wait until we can post pictures of the little baby that you helped save from a life of poverty and homelessness!!

Thank you for living out James 1:27!!!